Targeted Marketing I Like Best

You don't need a bazillion customers. In fact, you only need one.

A friend of mine asked me to help her with my favorite kind of marketing: writing her Match.com profile.

The requests have increased since I met my own husband on Match.com. We've been married nearly a year and a half now. I didn't have to move out of the school district, and he and I have never fought. We are living proof that Match.com works.

The first thing I enjoy about writing profiles is that, like writing someone's resume, you hold up a flattering mirror to your friend. Unlike resume writing, you can be more creative and the stakes are lower. (It's easier to live without a significant other than without a paycheck.)

My random thoughts on Match.com profiles:

1. Do your research for a good username. This is a tough one. They ask you to create a username up front, before your creative juices are flowing. Your username is like your brand, so make it sizzle. Try to find out first what other women in your area are doing. Otherwise you will end up with a very dull one like mine (first name + area code. Zzzzzz.)
2. Get at least one good picture before you start. Your picture is more important than your written content, in my opinion. Potential mates deserve to know what you look like. I recommend Sears Portrait Studio. They have enhancers they don't tell you about when you take your rosy-cheeked children in for portraits. They can diffuse the focus to obscure your crow's feet, and brighten your skin. I'm all in favor of truth in advertising, but definitely put your best foot forward. If you buy the CD you own the copyright.
3. People want to see your eyes. Forego the sunglasses in your primary photo. And even if the shot makes you look buff, don't use it if a shadow obscures your face.
4. If you have a great sense of humor, why not hold up today's newspaper in your photo so people can tell that the photo is current?
5. Be honest. I once met a 60-year-old woman who convinced herself she could pass for 40. (Not so much.)
6. When I was in real estate, they told us to tune to WIFM (What's in It For Me?) Sure, it's gratifying to write all about yourself, but then read what you write from the perspective of your potential mate. You want him or her to be able to picture him- or herself joining you in your activities and having a good time.
7. Use your spell checker. Please.
8. It works on Craigslist, but not on Match. When I was newly single, I had a set of heavy mirrors that I wanted to bolt to the studs in my apartment. So I tried using the headline "I need a studfinder." This was too risque for Match.com, which changed my headline to a tepid, "Hello, there." You can be funny on Match.com, but only up to PG-13.
9. Yes, you will meet weirdos. The latest friend I helped with her profile emailed me to say that men had contacted her with inappropriate suggestions. (Not lewd, fortunately, but looking for too much information, too soon.) This happened to me, too, at the worst time, when I was just putting feelers out there and was very unsure of my dating prospects. Some people play the numbers. They contact every new subscriber hoping that they will find one or two gullible or needy enough to accept faux intimacy. You only need one Match, but he or she must be the right one. Keep tweaking your profile and don't let the gamers get you down.
10. I have heard of people who use SEO. When you change your profile, it springs to the top of the searches. You can make teensy changes every day and see what happens. Some people even take their accounts offline for a time, to imply that they are dating someone, and then go back online. I haven't heard if that ultimately found those people their Princes or Princesses Charming, but it's worth a try.
11. Go for the six-month account. In my experience you do not find the right person within a month.