After hours of research, I conclude that the world would be a better place if more of us were Brazilian.
The research was at the airport, where I looked for people who flew more or less regularly to South America. The Brazilians were uniformly courteous, even the ones who declined to take my survey. How pleasant the world would be if more people were so civil. I didn't even have to use my Googlely-translated script. I can't even fake Portuguese.
Though fewer of them actually took the survey, I'm proud to say that Spanish-speaking travelers complimented my pronunciation. I credit Pimsleur, which is a great way to learn a language, better, in my opinion, than Rosetta Stone. (Travel, of course, is the best way, but I don't do enough of that.)
Gracias lo mismo y buen viaje.
Showing posts with label plane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plane. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, September 25, 2010
A Modest Proposal for Preventing Passengers Boarding Air Carriers from Being a Burden to Their Fellow Passengers
Whenever I fly, I wonder why the airlines board passengers from the front of the plane to the back. Premier and business class travelers, whose seats are so much more comfortable than mine, may prefer to stow their carry-ons and take their ease. That makes sense.
Economy flyers, though, need a better system. When I travel economy, if my seating area is at the back of the plane, I have to wait until last to board. That means I step around or on all those other people who are either still trying to cram their luggage in the overhead compartments, sprawling in their seats or arguing about who has which seat.
Likewise, I don’t understand why people are in such a hurry to get off the plane the minute it lands. If they have tight connections, sure. But many of those people have to pick up their checked baggage at the carousel. It won’t arrive there before they do.
I now modestly propose a more rational system for boarding large aircraft passengers:
First, admit first class and upgraded passengers, passengers with children, and those who need special assistance.
Second, admit everyone sitting in window seats. Then, once the window passengers are seated and out of the aisles, fill the middle seats. When they're out of the way, finally, let in the people with aisle seats.
If people need to make tight connections, they can be sure to reserve aisle seats. Their luggage will be the last stowed, so it should be easily to hand. They can grab it and go.
(Granted, the storage space for carry-on luggage may be used up before the aisle sitters arrive on the plane, but that happens anyway with the current system.)
In a perfect world, the cabin crew would ask other passengers to wait for people on a deadline. They would remind us that instead of a frantic race to the jetway, we could enjoy a serene and leisurely departure.
Think about this the next time you fly, please, and tell me if you don’t think this would make much more sense.
Economy flyers, though, need a better system. When I travel economy, if my seating area is at the back of the plane, I have to wait until last to board. That means I step around or on all those other people who are either still trying to cram their luggage in the overhead compartments, sprawling in their seats or arguing about who has which seat.
Likewise, I don’t understand why people are in such a hurry to get off the plane the minute it lands. If they have tight connections, sure. But many of those people have to pick up their checked baggage at the carousel. It won’t arrive there before they do.
I now modestly propose a more rational system for boarding large aircraft passengers:
First, admit first class and upgraded passengers, passengers with children, and those who need special assistance.
Second, admit everyone sitting in window seats. Then, once the window passengers are seated and out of the aisles, fill the middle seats. When they're out of the way, finally, let in the people with aisle seats.
If people need to make tight connections, they can be sure to reserve aisle seats. Their luggage will be the last stowed, so it should be easily to hand. They can grab it and go.
(Granted, the storage space for carry-on luggage may be used up before the aisle sitters arrive on the plane, but that happens anyway with the current system.)
In a perfect world, the cabin crew would ask other passengers to wait for people on a deadline. They would remind us that instead of a frantic race to the jetway, we could enjoy a serene and leisurely departure.
Think about this the next time you fly, please, and tell me if you don’t think this would make much more sense.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
No Mulligans for Slater
Customer service workers the world round have cheered Steven Slater since Monday.
Slater was the JetBlue flight attendant who'd grinned and borne passenger rudeness one time too many. After a passenger dropped the f-bomb on him on Monday, he delivered a maledictory speech on the plane's PA system, grabbed a beer and deployed the emergency chute.
On Thursday, though, he asked for his job back.
No mulligans, Steven. A last stand is a last stand. That's why we honor and remember them.
What if Chief Joseph had said, "I will fight no more...unless I can round up more warriors."?
Asking for your job back says that you value the job more than you do your pride. That customers can heap indignity upon you, knowing that even if you lose your cool, you'll crawl back and ask for more.
You say you love flying. Wouldn't you love it just as much jetting from speaking engagement to speaking engagement plugging your new book Emergency Exit: Mollifying Your Customer-Facing Staff?
That strategy didn't work well for Chief Joseph, but Chief Joseph didn't have the internet and YouTube to promote himself. Nor did he have Craiglist, which apparently abounds in unpaid ghostwriters. Judging by all the Craigslist postings in New York and New Jersey, all you have to do is call the honor of writing your book an "internship" to find free scriveners. So stand your ground.
(My posting 80/20 Rule was just a little ahead its time, apparently.)
Slater was the JetBlue flight attendant who'd grinned and borne passenger rudeness one time too many. After a passenger dropped the f-bomb on him on Monday, he delivered a maledictory speech on the plane's PA system, grabbed a beer and deployed the emergency chute.
On Thursday, though, he asked for his job back.
No mulligans, Steven. A last stand is a last stand. That's why we honor and remember them.
What if Chief Joseph had said, "I will fight no more...unless I can round up more warriors."?
Asking for your job back says that you value the job more than you do your pride. That customers can heap indignity upon you, knowing that even if you lose your cool, you'll crawl back and ask for more.
You say you love flying. Wouldn't you love it just as much jetting from speaking engagement to speaking engagement plugging your new book Emergency Exit: Mollifying Your Customer-Facing Staff?
That strategy didn't work well for Chief Joseph, but Chief Joseph didn't have the internet and YouTube to promote himself. Nor did he have Craiglist, which apparently abounds in unpaid ghostwriters. Judging by all the Craigslist postings in New York and New Jersey, all you have to do is call the honor of writing your book an "internship" to find free scriveners. So stand your ground.
(My posting 80/20 Rule was just a little ahead its time, apparently.)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
It's Alive--eHow.com
I waited until my articles went live to announce that I now write freelance articles for eHow.com. My "how-to" articles range from How to Write a One-Page Brochure to How to Learn to Fly a Plane in New Jersey. I got a special chuckle when I told a business editor that I had written an article called How to Catch Worms for Fishing. "Did you write that from your own experience?" he shuddered.
How else?
How else?
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